Part 1 – Evil Quill-Weave: Origin

Author’s note: After working on that Evil Quill-Weave picture, I got inspired to write another fanfic. Not sure if/when I’ll continue it, but here it is. It seems inane to post the same image again, so instead I’ll post an image of my Evil Quill-Weave mod from Skyrim that I use as a Avatar sometimes. The rest is, alas, a wall of text.

image

The idea had been fermenting in her for months. ‘Foment’ might be the better
word choice, she realized, but with the added implication of alcohol
involvement it seemed more appropriate. It was during her travels doing
research on the doomstones that it had truly moved from fanciful thought
process to a more concrete notion. A rumor had come to her of an undocumented
doomstone deep in the forests south of the Corbolo River. Since a known
doomstone, the Shadow Stone, was in the region anyway it made sense to travel
there.

Of course she had gotten lost, but in a very real sense, that was kind of
the goal. She’d hired a retainer to act as her guide and, though practically
mute, he seemed competent enough. Then they came across a site she’d not
expected. It was a tower, long abandoned but still serviceable, hidden deep
within the forest and apparently completely forgotten. Upon her return from her
travels, she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. It was her secret, she decided.
Well, her and that retainer. But she’d paid him well to keep quiet, not that he
apparently knew any other way, the faceless Mook. She didn’t even tell her
lover, Castia, and that was saying something.

However, it was Castia that really was the impetus that began Quill-Weave’s
descent into evil. Of course, she’d long been fascinated with the criminal
element of society, yet they never measured up to her imagination. Inevitably,
when you got right down to it, the criminal mind was one of two types. One was
usually a decent enough chap who was pushed into law-breaking by circumstances
beyond his control, then realized he liked it. As long as you didn’t cross him
or threaten to expose him, he was likely to be a nice guy really.

Then there were the crazies. Sociopathic nutjobs who would do whatever they
felt like, at any time, to anyone. Those were the dangerous types and she tried
to spot them quickly and then head the other way. But even they were… random.
They weren’t like the characters in her books, who were always scheming up some
nefarious plot or another. The sociopaths were just nutjobs who had no filter
for any whim that blew across their mind. That’s not really evil. It’s more
like they’re just animals who never developed higher civilized brain function.
Those types she didn’t like though, and on more than one occasion she let slip
a clue or two for the Legion.

Okay, maybe “clue” would be too subtle. She practically handed them notes
saying “So and so did this. Here’s proof. Arrest him.” The Legion wasn’t known
for its deep cunning or wit.

But an author knows more than most how deep words can cut. Being called a
stick-in-the-mud would have been a trivial offense to most. But Quill-Weave was
particularly susceptible to its deeper implications. She had spent years
writing her series on the lowlifes of Cyrodil, and some of those ‘lowlifes’ had
become pretty damned ‘high’ in the political world in that time. She was more
than a little aware of just how bourgeois her own life had become, and in the
back of her mind she resented it. So it only took a little spark to set her
off.

She sat up in bed suddenly one night, realizing what she had to do. She had
to become that which she had sought for all her life. She had to become Evil
Incarnate. Her search for it in the criminal classes had been fruitless. It
didn’t exist. But she was an author. She knew what it must look like and how it
must act. And she had enough resources now to make it reality. So she took a
special trip to the Imperial City to visit a tailor she knew who worked in
specialty products that only certain trades would have a need for.

In front it appeared to be just another shop marketing trinkets and small
leather goods and watched over by an equally nondescript Khajiit. She recognized
Quill-Weave when the author entered. A quick exchange and Quill was led through
a door in the back, then climbed down a hidden trap door to an underground room
of illicit and undeniably erotic fabrics, most of which would require a leap of
imagination to call them clothing.

“So, the great author returns to this one’s humble shop eh? Another story of
prostitution perhaps you are working on?”

“Cut the Khajiit-talk Mae. I’m here as a customer this time, pure and
simple. I need something… special.”

“Alright, alright. I get so used to it I sometimes forget who I’m talking
to. So, what are you looking for? Something lacy maybe? I’ve got this great new
design for a G-string that can even handle an Argonian tail. Here, take a
look!”

Quill-Weave took the pink undergarment with disdain, but then looked at it
more closely. Try as she might, she couldn’t figure out how the damned thing
was supposed to work.

Mae took it back from her with a look of disgust. “You really have no
experience at all, do you Quill? This is where the tail goes… here. Then this
wraps around the front.”

“But then that part is what goes over your… you? But it’s not big enough to
cover…”

“Not meant to cover it, silly lizard.”

“But then why would you eve…”

“Oh forget it. What are you looking for?”

“I need something in leather. Black leather.”

“Oh! I didn’t figure you for the S&M type! Top or bottom?”

“Huh? Well, I need both a top and a bottom I guess.”

The Khajiit rolled her eyes. “Newbie eh? No Quill, that refers to if you are
the Dominant or the Submissive. Master or Slave?”

“Oh! Well then… Master. Definitively Master.”

“Come this way. How do you feel about studs?”

“I’m not into men, Mae.”

“Jeeze, no Quill. I mean metal studs. I’ve got a wide variety. Spikey,
black, chrome. Here, take a look at this rack.”

“Mae, I might like women, but that doesn’t mean I want to see your tits!”
Quill responded to a blank-faced Mae.

“So that’s how it is eh?” the Khajiit finally responded when Quill let the
smile creep over her face.

“Hey, you started it!”

“You’re okay Quill, but puns are evil,” the little Khajiit laughed, handing
her an odd crotch-less pair of pants.

“Um… no Mae. I’m going more for a Master Villain look. Less sex, more severe.”

Though she tried on some very, very interesting outfits, in the end Quill
wasn’t satisfied with any of them. None were quite right for the villain she
was planning to become, though she did purchase a couple cute ones anyway just
to have on hand should the need arise.

“Well, that’s all we’ve got that will fit an Argonian. I’m afraid we’re
going to have to go Custom. Let’s go into my office and see if we can come up
with something more like what you have in mind.”

Some minutes later, Quill was watching Mae do sketch after sketch as they
both made adjustments.

“Now, about the bodice, do you see it as open or closed?”

Quill looked down at her chest. “I’ve not got much in that department. I
guess closed.”

Mae noticed the inherent disappointment in the Argonian’s tone. “Nonsense
Quill. Stand up.”

She did as she was bid while the Khajiit boldly grabbed her under her tits
and lifted them up and pushed them together. She squeaked.

“There, now what do you see?”

“I see a cat squeezing my boobs together. Without my permission I might
point out!”

“Oh, lighten up Quill. I’m going to have to take measurements in a little
bit, and I get need to get very accurate around your tail region. No,
Quill, that’s cleavage and plenty of it.”

“But it’s not real. You’re just squeezing my boobs together.”

“Honey, that’s all cleavage is. And I can design it so you look like a
double-D.”

“Will it be comfortable, being squeezed like that?”

“Hell no. You’re a Dominatrix remember. You’re not supposed to be
comfortable.”

“Oh… yeah. Well then, open if you can make me look like that!”

The Khajiit hastily drew an open bodice.

“More… evil,” Quill commented but a growing smile on her face.

Mae drew what looked almost like horns on the sides, but lowering the bodice
even more to their sides.

“Thats… daring!” Quill said, though her wide eyes showed her approval. “My
nipples won’t show?”

“Darling, you’re an Argonian. You have the distinct advantage of not having
any nipples to worry about! Rock that advantage!”

“You’re right. Let’s go for it! Now, about the dress. I feel like it’s
missing something.”

“Yes… You’ll be practically exposed up top. It’s too conservative below. How
about a slit up the side?”

They both looked at the sketch for a minute.

“No, not enough,” Mae admitted. “Two slits. WAAAY up.”

Quill’s smile became more pronounced. “I’ll never be able to wear any
underwear with that.”

“Ah, but I’ve got just the thing for that. Transparent colored leggings
underneath. It’s my latest design.”

“Do it Mae. How long?”

“I’ll have it done in a week. Cash up front of course. You can take those
other two outfits with you. If you’re going to buy this, they’re on the house.
Now, it’s time for measuring. Quill, don’t be shy and let me do my work here.
Humans have it easy with just two legs to worry about. Even Khajiits have
smallish tails that don’t require a lot of precision. But you Argonians have a
massive tail that must be accommodated precisely. I need to know it’s movements
from full up to down flat to full left and full right if I’m to do a proper
job. So, off with the clothes and lift your tail as high as it goes…”

An hour later, Quill felt like she’d just finished a workout with her lover.

“You sure you don’t want to measure my depth? It seems like the only measurement you haven’t taken.” she quipped
as she pulled her skirt on.

“Don’t laugh,” Mae said while scribbling some numbers on a note pad. “I’ve
had to do that before. Sorta. I’ve done some very VERY unusual work. But
no, I’ve got everything I need now. Of course, I get paid for doing what I do,
and paid handsomely. This isn’t going to be cheap.”

She passed a number to Quill.

An eyebrow was raised.

“The other two outfits are free,” the little tailor reminded Quill, her tail
swishing from side to side in anticipation of a sale.

“What’s this line item? Rubies?!”

“I have an idea. Trust me.”

“After what you just put me through, I should marry you! Go ahead. But don’t
expect a tip!”

“What I just put you through was my tip, my dear. See you in a week!”

By the time the week was out, Quill-Weave had worked up something of a
lather in anticipation. No arch-villain worth his salt could go without the
appropriate outfit after all, and the one she and Mae had worked up was right
up there with her own imagination.

At the sight of her, Mae smiled an enigmatic smile and led her down again.

“Oh, I think you’ll like it. Come, try it on!”

A sparkle of red caught her eye. “What’s this?”

“Just try it on. You’ll see.”

Quill looked around for a dressing room before she caught the disdainful eye
of the tailor.

“Just exactly which part of you were you trying to hide from me?”

“Well…”

“Quill, if you’re going to wear this, you need to BE this. The woman who
wears this dress isn’t going to be looking for a dressing room. She’s going to
look for a whip. Be that woman, or you’ll never fit the dress.”

Quill closed her eyes. When she reopened them, she smiled in a way that
almost looked like a different person. She felt different. She had her
old clothes off in an instant, kicking them aside as if kicking away her old
life. Then she pulled the snug leather over herself. She needed a little help
getting her tail in properly, but otherwise it fit like it was tailor-made for
her, which of course it was.

The look on Mae’s face told her all she needed to know, but she submitted to
be led to a full-length mirror anyway.

“Now, put on these leggings,” Mae said, handing her some very sheer, very
stretchable cloth in a shocking purple color.

“Mae. This is really transparent. I told you, this wasn’t for sex!”

“Darling, everything’s for sex.”

"But… it’s very… breezy. I may not have nipples but I’ve got…”

“BE that woman Quill! The woman that wears this doesn’t give a fuck about
modesty. She wears her modesty in her attitude. If a breeze exposes her, she
will wield such disdain for any who would dare to glance at her they would
melt! You are untouchable. You are…”

“Evil Incarnate!” Quill finished for her and Mae smiled back.

“Yes, that’s it. You are no longer Quill-Weave, you are Evil Incarnate. And
Evil Incarnate doesn’t wear frilly panties.”

Quill took another look in the mirror, her eyes sinking to a sultry glare.
The face that stared back at her was not that of the author whose livelihood
came from telling of the exploits of others. This was the face of the person
that Did Things. She bared her fangs and they shone in flickering underground
light. When she looked back at Mae, the little Khajiit backed off reflexively.

“O… okay Quill. That’s enough.”

Quill stepped towards the tailor silently, menacingly until their breasts
touched and her gleaming teeth reflected in the Khajiit’s wide eyes, frightened
eyes. An involuntary shiver ran through Mae that even Quill could see.

“I like the red skull,” she whispered.

“Please, Quill. You’re scaring me.”

Quill turned around and took off the leggings.

“Sorry Mae,” she laughed. “I had to try it out properly.”

“Heh. Yeah. You’re very good at roleplaying. This is for roleplaying,
right?”

“Sure. Roleplaying. That’s what it’s for. Now, please help me get my tail
out of this. Will I need someone to help me with it every time?”

“Oh no. Here, let me show you. If you just stick your tail in first like
this, the rest is easy. Yes, like that. You’ve got it now.”

“So, what about the skull?”

“Oh, I felt it needed a pop of color. Ruby red. I’ll have you know I looked
all over the city for these and no one had anything even close to matching. I
ended up buying them from some strange guy outside the city. Weird guy. Would
you believe, he wore a lit candle on his shoulder! But he had the perfect
stones. I embedded them into the gloves, belt and these optional gauntlets too.
And the skull just fit so perfectly, I didn’t have to touch a thing! Crazy
cheap too.”

Quill spun back to face her again, her eyes flashing.

The Khajiit’s eyes grew wide again. “I… I meant to tell you I was going to
refund some. Here, you can have this back. I’m sorry Quill, but, well, you know
how it is, right? Business is business!”

“Don’t fuck with me Mae. You’re the best at this work. You deserve your pay.
But don’t fuck me over or you’ll regret it,” Quill said with a menace to her
voice that seemed to come of its own accord. Still, the thrill of that cowering
look in the little tailor’s eyes was intoxicating.

All the long ride back home, she kept the package on her lap protectively
while it kept her warm over the miles, seeming to generate its own heat that
went straight to her core. The look in the tailor’s eyes kept coming back to
her. For the first time in her life, Quill had seen real fear – fear of her –
in someone else’s eyes. She felt at once both ashamed and thrilled by it – the
thrill seeming to reach deep into her core and to fill a space she barely knew
existed. Something both primal, physical and essential.

She couldn’t wait to get back home, lock the doors, shutter the windows and
try it on again.

Evil Quill Weave, Stand Up Comedian Gets Heckled

There was a bit of a discussion on the Prequel Fanart booru when I suggested I don’t think I’ve good at coloring. There might be some false modesty in there, but then again I look at some stuff and realize I really do kinda suck still.  But I decided to work my ass off on one and see how far I could take it – given my current skill set.  I decided to work on a simple one from Kaz:

Even this isn’t unmutilated. I added her right-breast curve and a slight nipple bump there because dammit, if I’m going to be working on this for like 3 hours, I’m gonna have my nips! And of course, this is after significant scan cleanup work.

After flat colors the real fun began. I ended up with 15 active layers on this! First, I thought it would be fun to add actual leather textures and scale textures. In the end, they’re probably not really visible, but they’re there anyway:

3 levels of shading there and I went nuts in highlighting:

If it seems like I spent an inordinate amount of time on her breasts, congratulations! You win the booby prize! Is truth. And I don’t normally do highlights on the skin too.  It may be too much but I like it and that’s what matters right? I added this background:

It wasn’t till I’d uploaded (a nipless version) to the Fanart Booru that I realized what I’d created. This is Evil Quill Weave doing a standup comedian routine and angry because someone is heckling her. At least, that’s what it looks like to me!  I should have added a mic stand, but I’ve spent enough time on a silly throwaway Kaz sketch.  If you like it, GREAT! But I know this is the best I can do given my current abilities.  

I still don’t think I’m very good at coloring – but I think, given enough time, effort and inspiration, I’m okay.

What to color next?

First, I’m up to 92 watchers. Wow! I should do something special when I hit 100 I guess! Someone suggested I should stream my coloring jobs. I dunno, I don’t think I’m being falsely modest when I say I’m really not that good. I mean, really – have you SEEN what some people can do? But hey, I’m also enough of an egotist to maybe give it a shot.

I watched a couple FurNut streams a while back and he’s got the cutest cat using FaceRig ever. Great idea. They’ve got a dragon too, but it’s not a CUTE dragon. Still, I might have to give that a shot.

Here’s my dilemma. I got a bunch of sketches from Kaz when I was up there, but I’ve already done all the ones I’m really interested in. Here’s what I’ve got. (I’d clean up the scans a lot before coloring though. No idea why they have that green tint, but I’d turn them to black-and-white first anyway)

Kaz can’t draw anything without them being cute. But meh… Neither inspire me much.

KInda a little intrigued by the pizza one. But… eh…

Now Evil Quill Weave is ALWAYS going to be near the top of my list. The only negative with this one is, I don’t know what the context is! If I do any of them, this is the most likely.

Or this one. I do like doing Quill I must admit.

Wow. That’s a REALLY bad pun Kaz! Like… hopelessly bad. (There’s a guy on the streams that goes by Robbyn I think that’s what this is referencing.)

This is the only one that’s an actual commission! I recall I was trying to be as non-lewd as possible and asked for Katia with a nice butterfly. A good take on it as only Kaz can do! But again, it doesn’t really inspire me much, and it’s such a pain to clean up scans and color I really gotta be inspired.  I think I’ve colored every one of the actual commissions I’ve ever gotten, but… 

Anyway, not really asking for suggestions here. More I just like putting every chicken-scratch Kaz does online because they’re always fun to look at anyway even if I don’t color them.

Breaking News: QW Rocks the Fandom to It’s Core!

Today in an unprecedented release, Quill-Weave shook her fans to the core with this revelation that has sent millions into panic:

image

When asked to comment further, our favorite Argonian quipped, “Maybe they should just find a nice girlfriend?”

Our intrepid reporters immediately took to the streets to get the reaction from the masses.

“I… don’t know what to think,” said one fan, obviously heartbroken. “I sent her a marriage proposal just last week. But she never wrote back. Please, I’m just trying to piece my life back together. Leave me alone!”

Another expressed disbelief and outrage. “She was coerced obviously. There’s no way this could be true. There should be a congressional investigation or something. I will never believe it.”

Still others seemed to be resigned to the new normal. This distraught fan expressed the common reaction of most:

“I don’t care. Drawing, CGI model. Pixels on a screen. It doesn’t matter. She may be a drawing, but she’s still a PERSON. She has feelings like you and me. No one should be subjected to the outrage you in the mainstream media are putting her through!”

To gauge the reaction from the female public, the most common response was, “Quill-Who?”

We filmed one fan who hadn’t gotten the news yet. His first reaction, “Hey. She’s naked!” His second, “Get out of my room!”

In a brief statement, Quill’s publicist and creator, Kazerad had this to say.

“Well, she… kinda is. I mean, I just draw her sometimes. I don’t know why it’s big news to anybody.”

It’s obvious that Kazerad is trying to distance himself from Quill-Weave’s outrageous declaration, but deep undercover operatives have discovered that in fact he has a room FULL of pictures of the lovely lizard. Some fully dressed, some scantily clad. When asked point-blank about this, he denied further comment and closed his door.

That is the up-to-the-minute news, but we haven’t yet heard the last of this. Some have expressed the belief that Quill-Weave herself is, in fact, being held a prisoner in some dark basement in Maryland under the control of the nefarious Kazerad. Until law enforcement begins to take this seriously, we can only speculate on what terrible fate lies in store for the Matriarch of Prequel. 

As one of her biggest fans attests (and we can confirm we found no bigger fans), “WE BELIEVE IN YOU!”

Author’s note: I have no idea why I did this. It’s just another Kazerad sketch I colored. I suppose it’s a little nsfw. A little.

Quill-Weave RPG OC

Got another commission from Kaz I colored here. I’ve always thought that scene in 

Quill-Weave: Take control of the situation where she’s playing an RPG with a couple of friends was an awesome concept. So I wondered what her player character would look like.

image

So I commissioned Kaz to do one with her PC.  Here’s the result after some cleanup work from the scan.

image

Here’s the image after I added some flat-color to it. I obviously had to make up some of the colors since there’s no reference, but I thought I saw some Wonder Woman vibe going on with the PC. Also, in a stream a while back Kaz was playing Elder Scrolls online with a friend and both were sporting a couple skinny sneks so I kinda incorporated that in a little too.

image

A little soft shading and background got me this:

image

And then some higlhighting…

image

I’ll try and link these to their high-res counterparts here. I think I kinda over-thought the breast shading (because I do that a lot) so I might have kinda screwed that up, but I’m going with it. Hey, at least I didn’t add nip bumps to any of em!

Draggy and Riona Travel to Washington DC and NYC #5

They took the first subway heading to Coney Island. Draggy realized after the first couple of stops that this was a Local and was going to take a long time to get there, but the air conditioning was way too nice so he just sat back and enjoyed it. By the time they arrived the sun was beginning to set and he felt like himself again.

“Is there a bathroom here?” Riona asked as they got off the train.

“Well… yeah… but it’s…” Draggy started to explain but Riona had spotted it and was gone. Some twenty minutes later she emerged in a state of shell shock.

“Everything come out all right in the end?” Draggy joked, but she just stared at him blankly.

“Let’s get out of here.” she said quietly.

Draggy led her towards the boardwalk. “What’s wrong? That bad?”

“I’ve seen garbage dumps more sanitary than that place. Roadside gas stations. OUTHOUSES!”

Then she saw the lights and all thoughts of the nastiness she must have experienced were obliterated.

“Oh! It’s like a carnival!”

image

“Yup. Pretty much. I guess this is where all the Joe Shmoes from New York go on the weekend to get away.”

“Wow! I never expected to see anything like THIS in the city!”

“Look over there. The ocean!”

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

“Who needs one of those?!” Draggy laughed but Riona gave him a scowl.

“Just kidding. I don’t really think you’d want to go in the water anyway. It’s awfully close to New York. Too close.”

In fact, they noticed that in all the time they spent there, they only saw one person actually in a bathing suit. And that was a sight Draggy could have done without. “She’s not a cast member of Cats, that’s for sure!”

Draggy sat on a bench while Riona Checked In and did her picture thing while Draggy was in heaven watching the people stroll by and the sun go down. Finally they decided to get something to eat.

“Not exactly any four-star restaurants around, but I noticed a Wahlburgers back there.”

“Isn’t that the TV show one? By the Wahlbergs?”

“That’s the one. Though don’t expect too much. I read reviews on Tripadvisor. It’s probably iffy at best. Though they do have those thin onion rings I like a lot!”

And, in fact, it was quite good! They sat at the window counter and watched people go by while Riona had a Donnie’s Special and Draggy had an Own Burger. Not bad at all. But it was getting late and between the long subway ride back to the Ferry, the Ferry itself and the flight back to their hotel it was time to get going.

“Just one thing first. It’s kinda tradition. If you’re not going to eat a Nathan’s Famous hot dog, you at least have to get some saltwater taffy. There’s a candy store on the way back.”

And in fact, they did get some taffy. Draggy couldn’t help but comment on the candy underwear they actually DID sell there too, but none had tail-holes so they passed on them.

image

The ride back was long and boring, but they were both pretty worn out and went right to sleep without even trying any of their taffy.

Draggy awoke early the next day and pulled out his laptop. This was going to be their last day before returning to Georgia and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try his very best to find some restaurant that sold Taylor Ham – whatever that was.  After some searching he did finally find a restaurant named the Urban Griddle in Elizabeth New Jersey that not only sold it, but did breakfast till 3pm! Riona didn’t sound so excited, but the reviews were quite good so they flew there and were seated pretty quickly. Riona had a rather awesome-looking omelet while Draggy finally got his coveted Taylor Ham with eggs over easy, toast and potatoes. It was glorious!

Draggy shared some of the “ham” with Riona who agreed it tasted somewhere in the middle between real ham and Spam. Always good to try something unique! Then they took the Ferry in one last time and weighed their options.

image

“Well, we really need to go One World Trade Center. Last time we were here the towers were still standing,” Draggy pointed out.

“Okay but I want to go to Chinatown and Little Italy before we leave too.”

“Oh! That reminds me. I read that there’s some souvenir stands in Chinatown that are surely cheaper than those we saw at Times Square.”

“And Bryant Park. I want to go there too.”

“Sounds good. There’s a big New York Public Library right around there too.  I’ve always wanted to visit that. I used to be a big fan of an author who said he spent many happy hours there.”

“Oh? Who’s that?”

“A guy named Isaac Asimov.”

“Never heard of him.”

“No, I didn’t think you would have. Golden Era Scifi mostly. Ever hear of the Foundation trilogy? Fantastic Voyage? I, Robot?”

“I… don’t think so.”

“Well, no matter. It’ll probably be closed anyway. But I still want to go.”

image

In the end they managed all of them, though they decided against going up to One World Observatory due to the long lines. But the memorial was pretty awesome in a solemn way. They stopped into a Chinatown restaurant where Draggy tried something called Soup Dumplings. The waiter showed him the proper way to eat them, sort of sipping the soup out of them and then pouring in a little vinegar and ginger sauce. They were, in a word, weird and delicious. The library was indeed closed by the time they got there, but Draggy got some pictures of the concrete lions on the steps and at least felt he had stood where the great Asimov had once stood. And that was nice.

They got an early start the next day. Draggy was eager to get home actually. Maybe a little too eager. Riona managed to sleep for a while but by the time they got to Virginia she was repeating two words to herself over and over. “SLOW DOWN!”

image

But in the end they made it back and spent the entire Saturday in bed resting, recuperating, and other a few other amusements – which was really all Draggy had wanted to do anyway.

image

Author’s note: This has been about 50% fiction and 50% road trip blog. There are candy underwear for sale in IT’SUGAR though. And I can confirm it is possible to get from Carteret NJ to Atlanta in one day. (Not sure if flying on the back of a dragon would be faster or not though.)

Draggy and Riona Travel to Washington DC and NYC #4

The rain had let up by the time they got to Times Square and there was about a million pictures taken. Draggy reflected on how much film that would have cost back in the day. However, the day was still pretty gloomy so they decided this would be a good night to go to a Broadway show. However, they had no tickets to anything and Draggy was notoriously cheap anyway so they went to the TKTS discount booth in Times Square.

“What about Aladdin?” Riona asked. “See if they have anything for that.”

The guy in the booth just shook his head. “Disney never goes on discount.”

“Hamilton?” Draggy asked with a hopeful look.

He’d never actually seen someone spurt his drink out of his nose before. This trip was turning out to be full of new experiences!

“What about that Gloria Estefan show?” Riona suggested.

“We have that available. It would be $240 for two.”

“$240?” Draggy squeaked and looked at Riona dismally.

“It’s ending it’s run soon so there’s not much discount on it.”

How does that make any sense at all? Draggy wondered. But the mysteries of Broadway ticket pricing eluded him. Then an inspiration struck.

“Cats?”

The ticket guy looked at him. “Well. Yeah. $160 for two for Cats.”

Draggy looked hopefully at Riona.

“Cats. Figures. Sure, let’s go see Cats.”

“You know, you really are a furry,” she said as they wandered off in search of more weird people to take pictures of.

image

They arrived at the theater later and stood in line before the doors opened.

“Anything worth watching HAS to have a line,” Draggy suggested, but inside he was REALLY hoping she liked the show. He’d seen it once before long, long ago. As he recalled, he enjoyed the hell out of it, but it didn’t really have much of a story. At least not in the normal sense. But he was committed now and he could only hope.

When they entered the theater, the first thing that struck him was that it seemed a lot smaller than he remembered. But they handed the tickets to the usher and she told them, “Front row on the left.”  Front row? REALLY? COOL!

Even Riona seemed awfully happy at that. Things were looking up!

And looking up is what they did. The stage was literally a couple of feet in front of them and a lot of the action took place off the stage in the audience as well as at the very front. Draggy also noticed that Spandex is an excellent material choice for costumes as long as the bodies they cover are as toned and fit as these were! Whereas in most plays that center on singing and acting, Cats is, if anything, more focused on dance than anything else.  By the end of the show, Riona was happily humming “Memories” all the way back to the hotel.

image

“All things considered,” Draggy thought as he fell to sleep that night to the sound of a happily purring Riona beside him, “a VERY successful first day in NYC! Not bad for a gloomy day.”

The next day the two again left late. But the day was clear and sunny, and this time they were headed to Brooklyn. Though they’d both been to NYC before, neither had actually walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. Draggy was pretty good with the subway map by then and they came up near City Hall. Just one thing was worrying Draggy a bit. The entrance to the bridge began almost halfway into Manhattan. And it was getting past midday by the time they got there. Things were getting hot.

It started out well enough. They’d stopped for some mango slices from a vendor on the bridge and Brooklyn didn’t look TOO far. But the sun was already beating down and Draggy stopped to rest in the meager shade of the railing while Riona began her ritual of photos. There were certainly enough odd types there to take pictures of!

“Good thing we’re normal!” Draggy thought inwardly, not unaware of the inherent unlikeliness of that.

Eventually they got out over the water where Draggy hoped a breeze would pick up. It didn’t. What did happen was all shade from the towering buildings of Manhattan was lost and the next of the two massive support structures ahead. Two supports holding up a bridge over a mile long. Thirteen YEARS to complete. Started in 1870 – five years after the Civil War ended and still handling modern traffic. That’s impressive by any standard. But the great Mr. Roebling neglected to build an awning.

image

The affable smile was beginning to fade from Draggy’s face by the time they finally reached the first support tower where he plopped onto his haunches with his back to the tower while Riona cheerfully Checked In on Facebook. She managed to find a male model doing a shoot there and seemed as happy as could be.

“Damn latin blood,” Draggy thought as he panted away the heat. “She’s not bothered in the slightest.”

He managed to polish off the last of his water before they began again to cover the span between the towers. He was almost happy when Riona started showing signs of discomfort herself as she stopped and opened her water bottle.  He looked back, knowing they were only halfway, and realizing that there was no sense turning back now. When finally they reached the second tower, Riona was happy to sit beside him in the shade for a while.

“Kinda hot isn’t it?” she mentioned.

Draggy answered her with a look of pure misery, his tongue lolling from the side of his mouth.

“Here, have some of mine,” she said, offering her water bottle. Draggy downed it greedily.

“Oh! Look down there! There’ll be great pictures from there!” Riona said, looking at the Brooklyn riverside and a nice looking walkway along the water’s edge.

By the time they got to the end of the bridge, Draggy was thinking of the Bataan death march. Even Riona didn’t bother to lift her phone to take pictures until after they’d got some lemonade nearby.

image

Draggy happily squatted on a bench, sipping lemonade judiciously and watching Riona “Oooh and Ahhhh” at the sight of the bridge from underneath.

“Well, there’s one thing off my bucket list anyway,” he thought.

Riona returned to sit beside him for a while, having sated her thirst for lemonade and pictures. “So, what’s next?”

“Coney Island.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll see.”

Draggy and Riona Travel to Washington DC and NYC #3

Draggy and Riona arrived at Kazerad’s frequent hangout, the Arundel Mills mall.

“Well, this is nicer than I expected,” Riona admitted as she climbed down off Draggy’s back.

“Check it out, Ree.  Egyptian-themed movie theater. Anubis never looked so cool!”

Riona took some pictures while Draggy looked up the statue’s loincloth.  "Nope. Nothing.“

"You sound disappointed. Come on, let’s go see this Kazerad guy.”

Kazerad spotted them right off and gestured them over. He had his phone setup all in place. However, Draggy was somewhat disappointed to see that the camera-phone was not, in fact, being held up by Katia. Also he always imagined Kaz would sit over in some obscure corner. But no, he was there right in the middle of things. Finally, he was somewhat surprised to see that Kazerad was not, in fact, abnormally small. But what else transpired there must remain outside this story because it would make little sense if I told you that Riona was created there that night. So let’s just move along shall we?

“No, you were right. It wasn’t THAT awkward after all.”

“Well, I was being on my best behavior. So were the guys on the Internet actually.”

“So, did you have a good time Draggy?”

“Absolutely! And I only drank 1 glass of… whatever that stuff that Kaz was drinking was.  It was pretty good too. I think he was going light on me. He knows I don’t touch the harder stuff.”

“Well he was a lot nicer than I imagined, I admit.  So… what’s up tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow we go to New Jersey and check into the hotel, but we have all day to do that so I thought we’d stop by Philadelphia. It’s on the way.”

“Oh no, not the Liberty Bell again.”

“Not a big fan of the whole Revolutionary War era stuff there?”

“I was, but I’ve seen it. And a broken bell is really not all that interesting after the first 20 minutes.”

Draggy had to agree. Especially when they encase it all in dragon-proof glass so you can’t tap on it with your claws to make it ring. Where’s the fun in that?  

“What about stopping for a Philly Cheesesteak?”

“Draggy, you remember? They make them with Cheeze-Whiz! I like the Cheesesteaks in Atlanta better than those!”

“Well, let’s at least stop in and get some pictures. Not much else to do and I don’t plan to go into New York tomorrow.”

In the end, they did stop in Philadelphia, got some semi-interesting pictures, shared a cheesesteak sandwich (with Provolone thank you very much!) and got the hell out of there.

“No, I don’t think we’ll be stopping in Philly next time,” Draggy agreed as they passed over New Jersey. “Besides, we’ve been to TWO Philadelphias this trip remember!”

“Yes Draggy. Two Philadelphias. That was mildly funny when you mentioned it the first 10 times.”

Finally they landed in Carteret, New Jersey and, after explaining to the front desk clerk that Draggy was not actually a large dog, they checked into their room.

“Wow! I haven’t seen this in 40 years Ree! A phone in the BATHROOM!”

“Hey stud, come check ME out!”

Draggy recognized that tone of voice. He crooked his neck around the corner. Riona was laying seductively across the bed, her hand languidly caressing a $.25 vibrating bed box.

“Is this the Honeymoon suite?” she laughed. “I don’t know if I’ve EVER seen one of these before! Got a quarter?”

“Only the best for you my dear!” Draggy quipped then started fumbling around for change. Then realized he had no pockets. “Does it take credit cards?” he asked desperately.

“Oh, forget it my draggy. We can break this bed in properly without it!” she laughed as his face brightened considerably.

They did not, in fact, leave the room that night at all except for one trip to the checkout counter that a dishevelled Riona made to get change for a dollar.

For a change, it was Riona who was up first the next morning. “Rise and shine Draggy! I’m hungry,” she said, already dressed and ready.

“Where shall we eat? A guy on the Internet says I should try something called Taylor Ham. Apparently it’s a thing in New Jersey.”

“Draggy, it’s after 11. We’re not going to be able to find much serving breakfast this late. Let’s just find an IHOP or something.”

“Oh! Here’s a Denny’s in Staten Island that’s not far. Let’s take the Ferry in. Looks like rain anyway.”

After breakfast they boarded the Staten Island ferry. Of course Riona took about 100 pictures of the Statue of Liberty, but the day was gloomy and raining. Upon arriving they went straight to the subway and bought two unlimited 7-day passes and proceeded to Times Square, trying to look as much like natives as they could.

(Note from the author: This is a work of fiction. The Holiday Inn Carteret does not, in fact, have Magic Fingers vibrating beds. However they DO have extension telephones installed in their bathrooms! For when you JUST CAN’T miss that important call.)

Draggy and Riona Travel to Washington and NYC #2

Draggy awoke in a strange room before he remembered where he was. “Hey Riona!” he nudged the furry heap next to him. “Good morning! Guess where we are!”

Riona buried her head under a pillow. “Washington?”

“No! Even better! We’re in Bethesda!”

“Isn’t that the name of that company that makes that game you’re always playing?”

Draggy started jumping up and down on the bed. “Yup! Come on! Lets get ready! Got a lot to do today.”

Riona sat up. “Okay, okay! I’m up.“

"Great! Let’s take a shower!”

“Draggy, hotel showers are notoriously small,” Riona pointed out as Draggy followed her to the bathroom eagerly. “That is not happening,” she said while closing the door on his tragically dejected face.

image

The door reopened about an hour later and the figure that stepped out had been transformed. “Okay, now I’m ready,” she said. “What do you think?”

Draggy nodded approvingly. “You look like… a tourist. But a very nice looking tourist!”

Riona appraised the dragon. “What about you?”

“I don’t like to attract attention to myself. I’ll just go like this.”

The hotel they were staying in just happened to sit directly atop the Washington Metro so they took that into DC, first stopping at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception.

“It says here,” Draggy was explaining as he read from his phone, “it’s the largest Roman Catholic church in North America.”

Riona nudged him from his phone to look up. He did so. And up. And up. And up.

“Wow.” he said.

image
image

Two hours later they found themselves underneath the Basilica, eating in a cafeteria.

“Impressive!” Riona said, happily scarfing down her chicken soup while Draggy was picking away at his stuffed pepper.

“I’ll say! And that pipe organ was awesome. Just think how that would sound playing In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida!”

“I somehow doubt that’s on their repertoire.”

“Foreplay from Boston maybe?”

“Is that ALL you think about?” Riona scowled.

Draggy stared at her innocently. “Wha?”

“Come on Draggy. Let’s go see the National Mall.”

They emerged from the Metro station into George Washington University and headed south to the Lincoln Memorial where many pictures were taken.

“The founding fathers sure were BIG weren’t they!” Draggy joked.

“Don’t be silly. Now let’s go see the Washington Monument…” Riona said and Draggy followed along dutifully.

Both were staring up at the towering monument. “Do you think the rest of him is buried underneath us?” Draggy commented.

“What?” Riona asked, not looking away until it dawned on her what he meant.

image

He was still rubbing his cheek when they came up to the fence in front of the White House.

“You have to admit it’s all rather phallic.”

“Would you just shut up about that? Now take a picture of me and we’ll head back to the hotel before it gets too dark.”

On the train ride back, Draggy brought up the subject of Kazerad.

“…so I thought maybe we might go see him tonight. He’s just a half-hour from the hotel.”

“Is this that webcomic guy you buy drawings from?”

“Yeah, that’s him!”

“It’s kinda weird isn’t it? Meeting some guy from the Internet you know nothing about?”

Draggy was about to reassure her that Kaz was pretty normal, then he remembered the Burrito Incident. No, better not go down that road…

image

“Well, it would be at a mall place. Buffalo Wild Wings. And we don’t have any other plans for tonight. And it IS my birthday next week.”

“Oh, alright. But it’s gonna be awkward as hell.”

“I know. And it is. But if I didn’t take this chance to meet him I’d regret it forever.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll go. Will there be anyone else there?”

“Well, no… not exactly. Though he’ll probably be streaming it on the internet.”

“WHAT?! I’m not going on the Internet!”

“No, no. Just what he’s drawing or whatever.”

“Hmmm…” Riona said suspiciously.